I avoid non-stick for the problems you have  mentioned, with the exception of one 10" frying  pan which I use for eggs and crepes.

As for the falling apart of the surface, a few ideas:
     1: If you are using metal, or other abrasive / sharp utensils in the pan they may damage the Teflon coating.
     2: Certain foods/methods of cooking are not well suited to non-stick cookware.  I for one would never sear meat in it because by the time the  pan is hot enough to make Maillard do its thing the surface  is  at dangerous  levels, especially if you have exotic birds  as pets
     3: I have found that the more expensive non stick items, t-fal, all clad, viking and  the like are not worth the money as the surface tends to be nubbed, making things like omelets not work, and the cost to longevity ratio is horrible.  Most non stick pans will need replacing every 2 years or so, at most.

Thus my advice to you  would be to go to the nearest catering / restaurant supply shop and  get yourself one of the non-sticks they stock their.  The brand is not what makes the difference in these pans, its  the care taken with the surface and making sure the methods used don't get the pan over 350 (F) at any point

I hope  that was of some help...it seems  rather rambling now  that I'm done with it...  WTM

every 6-10 uses i wam them up, then rub with veg oil to give fine film of oil on. this tends to do a decent job at maintaining the non stick prop. also NO METAL utensils within a zillion miles. i pre heat but not too hot, just enough to sizzle.
dan

I just bought a pan from Tefal..afcourse it's by Jamie Oliver! Actually I remember that I had a smaller one too (simpel), and it was terrible. All that teflon came off and I threw it away, but I am really satisfied with my new one