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#21 Wed 13 Nov 13 11:43pm

MsPablo

Forum super champ
Occupation Just being me
Member since Fri 28 Mar 08

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

Hi Mads!  I'm glad you said that.  It reveals the psychology on all sides of this issue.  Taste is subjective .  .  . and some need to control and direct no matter what .  .  .  heheheh - that really says it in a nutshell Mads, thanks!

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#22 Thu 14 Nov 13 9:30am

Grandmadamada

Forum champ
Member since Fri 19 Nov 10

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

ehhhhhhh I was not aware being really on the topic writing that but I had to add it to that story ..... by the way my youngest nipotina is eating what she needs/wants in full freedom among sound healthy food, I'm so proud she's already foraging in London shrubs with her father and doesn't want anybody to peel or open the fruits she hold in her hand, it's a battle taking the kernels before she has them in her mouth

well why not putting a choice of food on/in the table/fridge and see how he transforms it into sopravivenza? ignore him like we do with fussy children, it often works, meanwhile eat with great pleasure what you like and let the smell fill your kitchen ..... who knows

and let us know, we'll support you wink  crossed  crossed  thumbsup

Last edited by Grandmadamada (Thu 14 Nov 13 9:31am)

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#23 Thu 14 Nov 13 9:39am

Ashen

Forum champ
Occupation Why is the Rum always gone???!
From out to lunch
Member since Sat 07 Jan 06

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

I definitely think this subject ,  has as much to do  with relationship control issues, as it does with what people are eating.   I will stand by my opinion that trying to make another adult do something like eat healthy is a suckers game. It invariable turns into a nasty control fight , where both sides are resentful.


The Universe is alive and self aware. 
Need proof?
Look in a mirror.
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#24 Thu 14 Nov 13 1:53pm

Grandmadamada

Forum champ
Member since Fri 19 Nov 10

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

sono daccordissimo !

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#25 Thu 14 Nov 13 3:14pm

koukouvagia

Forum champ
From New York
Member since Fri 12 Dec 08

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

Ashen wrote:

I definitely think this subject ,  has as much to do  with relationship control issues, as it does with what people are eating.   I will stand by my opinion that trying to make another adult do something like eat healthy is a suckers game. It invariable turns into a nasty control fight , where both sides are resentful.

That's why I'm an advocate of making a very serious decision about whether you want to be with this person or not.  I've seen couples who go through this and from my pov it's not worth it.  My FIL has issues like this and he's a nightmare to dine with.  Eating is something you do with people, it's something that you want to share with your family.  It's like a religion, if you don't match then be ready for a lifetime of fighting.  It's not as easy as not sharing the same taste in movies but really how often does that impede on a relationship?  While eating is something you do every day and if you want to raise children with someone else then it's going to be an issue.

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#26 Thu 14 Nov 13 4:02pm

Grandmadamada

Forum champ
Member since Fri 19 Nov 10

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

nature itself makes different people meet to make mankind evolute I hope  cool children will choose or take from both what they like crossed

Last edited by Grandmadamada (Thu 14 Nov 13 4:02pm)

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#27 Thu 14 Nov 13 5:00pm

MsPablo

Forum super champ
Occupation Just being me
Member since Fri 28 Mar 08

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

I don't know what I'm talking about.  Pay me no mind.

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#28 Thu 14 Nov 13 11:16pm

Grandmadamada

Forum champ
Member since Fri 19 Nov 10

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

have we gone too far away from the table? shocked

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#29 Sat 16 Nov 13 1:53am

Cindy

Forum champ
Occupation Registered Nurse
From Adelaide, OZ
Member since Tue 03 Aug 04

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

Ashen wrote:

I definitely think this subject ,  has as much to do  with relationship control issues, as it does with what people are eating.   I will stand by my opinion that trying to make another adult do something like eat healthy is a suckers game. It invariable turns into a nasty control fight , where both sides are resentful.

This works both ways. Many people use food as a weapon to control and manipulate their loved ones. Even though many of our members say they have learned to live with a really fussy eater, they also say it is irritating.

I don't think meal planning, or meal times should be stressful. This boy is supposed to be a grown up. A part of being a grown up is compromising with others.

I'd also have concerns on his ability as a chef if he is so narrowly focussed over food.

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#30 Sat 16 Nov 13 2:48am

Ashen

Forum champ
Occupation Why is the Rum always gone???!
From out to lunch
Member since Sat 07 Jan 06

Re: fussy boyfriend who is a pastry chef, who is really fussy HELP

Cindy wrote:

Ashen wrote:

I definitely think this subject ,  has as much to do  with relationship control issues, as it does with what people are eating.   I will stand by my opinion that trying to make another adult do something like eat healthy is a suckers game. It invariable turns into a nasty control fight , where both sides are resentful.

This works both ways. Many people use food as a weapon to control and manipulate their loved ones. Even though many of our members say they have learned to live with a really fussy eater, they also say it is irritating.

I don't think meal planning, or meal times should be stressful. This boy is supposed to be a grown up. A part of being a grown up is compromising with others.

I'd also have concerns on his ability as a chef if he is so narrowly focussed over food.

did you read my earlier post in this thread?

Ashen wrote:

I will give my two cents worth..  YMMV

Firstly it is not your job or responsibility to make your BF eat better.  I can understand being concerned but once you have made that point to him, it is 100% his responsibility.

My second thought is that you should not be held hostage to his likes.  Let him know in advance when you are going to cook a meal that you like ,  giving him an option to prepare something else for himself. If he gives you grief, simply state that you have as much right to meals you like  as he does to meals he likes.  What I would be shooting for is a mutual respect for each others likes,  not a confrontational argument every time you want to eat something different.


The Universe is alive and self aware. 
Need proof?
Look in a mirror.
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